Stop Wanting the Third Thing

Fulfillment Beyond Validation

In a world obsessed with external validation, finding contentment in the simple act of doing good can seem revolutionary. The wisdom of Stoic philosophy, as imparted by Marcus Aurelius, aligns closely with teachings from the Bhagavad Gita and the Bible. All three perspectives remind us that true virtue and fulfillment come not from recognition but from the intrinsic value of our actions. It’s time to embrace this unified wisdom: focus on the task itself and stop craving the third thing.

Your problem is you want the third thing. Marcus Aurelius says, Okay, you did something good for someone. They recieved that benefit. That’s awesome. Transaction concluded. YOU DON’T NEED THE THIRD THING — recognition, gratitude and apprecitation. You did’t even do anything special you did your job.Which is to do good, to be good, to help people, to be kind. You did the right thing — that’s enough.

The Essence of Doing Good

The true measure of our actions is not found in the clamor of applause or the glow of accolades, but in the intrinsic value of what we do. Marcus Aurelius, the Stoic philosopher and Roman Emperor, taught a powerful principle: if you have done something beneficial, the transaction is complete. The positive impact on others is its own reward. As he said, “The only wealth which you will keep forever is the wealth you have given away.”

The Bhagavad Gita, a cornerstone of spiritual wisdom, echoes this sentiment. Lord Krishna advises Arjuna: “You have a right to perform your prescribed duties, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions.” This teaching emphasizes that the essence of action lies in the act itself, not in the outcome or recognition. Similarly, in the Bible, Jesus instructs in Matthew 6:3-4, “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

The Trap of External Validation

We often find ourselves ensnared in the cycle of seeking recognition. After performing a good deed, we look around for a pat on the back or public acknowledgment. This quest for external validation becomes a "third thing"—an unnecessary layer that detracts from the true essence of doing good. It’s a distraction that diverts us from the purity of our intentions.

Marcus Aurelius warns us: “Be not deceived by the appearance of things.” By focusing on the intrinsic value of our actions, we can break free from this cycle. Understand that helping others, being kind, and fulfilling our responsibilities are valuable in themselves. The world doesn’t need to throw a parade to make us feel fulfilled.

The Bhagavad Gita reinforces this by advising us to act selflessly: “Perform your duty, but do not be attached to the results.” This approach fosters a deeper sense of purpose and inner peace. Likewise, the Bible cautions against seeking approval: “For they loved praise from men more than praise from God” (John 12:43). These teachings remind us that our actions should be motivated by virtue, not by a desire for external validation.

The Power of Internal Fulfillment

When we shift our focus from seeking recognition to finding satisfaction in the act of doing good, we connect with a deeper sense of fulfillment. This shift is liberating. It allows us to act with genuine kindness and virtue, not for the sake of receiving something in return, but simply because it is the right thing to do.

Marcus Aurelius encapsulates this mindset: “Our job is to do good and be good.” This approach nurtures resilience and a profound sense of purpose. Similarly, Lord Krishna’s teachings encourage us to focus on the duty itself, not the fruits of the action. The Bible also supports this view, emphasizing the importance of sincerity in our deeds over public acknowledgment: “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

Embracing the Stoic, Gita, and Biblical Perspective

Adopting this perspective means letting go of the need for the "third thing"—the recognition, gratitude, or appreciation we often crave. Instead, we should focus on the immediate impact of our actions. When you help someone, contribute positively, or perform your duties with integrity, you have already achieved what is necessary.

The joy and satisfaction derived from the act itself are sufficient. You don’t need the world to acknowledge your efforts to feel complete. By embracing this principle, you cultivate a deeper sense of inner peace and contentment. You don’t need a parade or a fanfare to validate your deeds. You’ve done your job, and that’s enough.

So, the next time you find yourself seeking recognition for a good deed, remember the combined wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, the Bhagavad Gita, and the Bible. You don’t need that third thing. The transaction is already complete with the good you’ve done. Embrace the intrinsic value of your actions, and let that be your reward. By focusing on the task at hand and not on external validation, you nurture a more authentic and fulfilling approach to life.